Having just read the Snoopy book which Marpig kept since Marpigz mom passed on just a few daes back, Marpig am at a small turning point in life again(?)
There isnt really much turning acutally... turning back... for gd?
Have no idea since when Marpig felt like calling it quits... was it when Marpig realised she was being discriminated at work for being underpaid and overworked? Was it bcos of the cold?
Marpig am torn... reading wat she wrote to Marpigz mom in the book, she told her she wanted to get CEng... she told her she will wear tt 咸煎饼 hat (PhD) and be a lecturer... but... Marpig has been thinking of calling it quits recently... to stop pursuing her dreams... to go home...
BUT, just when a company in SG saw Marpigz resume and wanted to have a telephone interview with Marpig (may not get the job, just an interview only) Marpig actually doesnt want to go back... sigh... did thought of wat Marpig would do if she goes back... she will be able to eat food she lurves, do ths she likes, be with Marpigz mom. Work and do xercise and cycling. No more bitter cold and grey daes... but... Marpig doesnt want to go back... yet(?)
Plus, didnt want to see Marpigz dad. Have been really 4giving and wanted to even be the middleman btw Marpigz sis and dad... but after reading the book and found out tt in just the 2nd entry (& subsequent "letters" to Marpigz mom), Marpig already note down her observations of Marpigz dadz change tt Marpig realised, tt relationship did started just after Marpigz momz passing on...
Sigh... then, wanted to archive the Marpigz hundreds of bloggie entries over these yrs (blimey!! ttz quick!!) and so, was reading sm of the old bloggie entries and wow... all the comments by Dingko Nut and XT and even Bro Yiz (praising Marpig for having bit o wisdom)!!
Also realised, the Marpig 3.5 yrs ago was young and curious bout the UK and generally, happy. As time (as well as bloggie entries) goes by, could trace how Marpig changed... melancholy, sad, solemn, critical, thinks too much... therez also sm jokes here & there but much less... seems like Marpig has lost her sense of humour to the passing of the daes...
Anyw, Marpig will have to pdf each and every bloggie entry with their comments in order to archive it and print them into a book!! My gosh... are there no better ways or is tt the ONLY way?
B4 Marpig ends this bloggie entry, just like Marpig had asked this question long ago, shall Marpig stop pursuing her dreams and just go back for gd? Sigh...
1 comment:
For me I also think that I can think too much sometimes. In fact, I am wondering whether our moodiness has got something to do with our health--when you have pain in your body wouldn't you mood also be affected? Hence due to usage(work stress, eating/zzzing/relaxing habits etc) over time the body you have now is definitely different from the one you had 3.5yrs ago.
I used to write journals sometimes when I was a kid, now when I read them it all looked quite cute--when I grew up I tot that it'll be troublesome to keep all those things tt I wrote since I wouldn't bear to throw them away so I stopped writing(my topics will most prob be revolving ard d same things anyway and I also feel tt I have "mellowed" now)! Seems like now u hv this prob..but in those "olden" days there aren't online blogs but "physical" books la. U can also take d archiving chance to throw some articles away like doing a spring cleaning?
Are your Dreams(PhD, lecturer) more important to you than your current Reality(body condition, family issues etc)? Gotta ask yourself what/who are you living/dying for first then decide.
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