Piggies' Stories No. 1 for Xmas

NOTE: Some names have been changed to protect the identity of the original character.

In England once there lived a big and wonderfully clever pig.
To everybody it was plain that Marpig had a massive brain.
She worked out sums inside her head.
There was no book she hadn't read.
She knew what made an airplane fly.
She knew how engines worked and why.
She knew all this, but in the end,
One question drove her round the bend:
She simply couldn't puzzle out,
What LIFE was really all about.
What was the reason for her birth?
Why was she placed upon this earth?
Her giant brain went round and round.
Alas, no answer could be found.
Till suddenly one wondrous night,
All in a flash she saw the light.
She jumped up like a ballet dancer and yelled,
"By gum, I've got the answer!"
"They want my bacon slice by slice to sell at a tremendous price!"
"They want my tender juicy chops"
"To put in all the butcher's shops!"
"They want my pork to make a roast"
"And that's the part'll cost the most!"
"They want my sausages in strings!"
"They even want my chitterlings!"
"The butcher's shop! The carving knife! That is the reason for my life!"
Such thoughts as these are not designed to give a pig great piece of mind.
Next morning, in comes Farmer Bland,
A pail of pigswill in his hand and Marpig with a mighty roar,
Bashes the farmer to the floor…
Now comes the rather grizzly bit,
So let's not make too much of it.
Except that you must understand,
That Marpig did eat Farmer Bland.
She ate him up from head to toe, chewing the pieces nice and slow.
It took an hour to reach the feet because there was so much to eat.
And when she finished, Marpig, of course, felt absolutely no remorse.
Slowly she scratched her brainy head and with a little smile she said,
"I had a fairly powerful hunch that he might have me for his lunch."
"And so, because I feared the worst, I thought I'd better eat him first."